It’s always great to catch up over a game of golf with respected friends and colleagues. You may have spoken to them on the phone during the year about varying work or other matters but have struggled to fulfill the agreed promise of a game – it’s not always easy.

It’s about a genuine commitment from a group of mates that the game will occur, and with this commitment it comes to fruition.

It’s not actually about the golf, no one’s playing for sheep stations, yet it has its competitive nature.

It’s also somewhat perverse where on one hand you encourage your opposing players but take every opportunity to put them off their game by many and varied illegal tactics that will be highlighted further in this post.

The great thing about golf is that no one ever totally masters the game, even the world’s best have bad days. It’s a huge challenge in controlling your frustration, remaining patient and trying to maintain a level of concentration. That’s before you start dealing with other influences like your mates !

So let’s set the scene. It generally starts off along these lines;

“Hey RD, how are you situated next Wednesday before Christmas for a hit ? Yeah I’m looking pretty good Mr T. Great, I’ll speak with Paul and see how he’s looking – what about Dazzler, is he in town ? Not sure, can you follow up? Yeah leave that with me “.                                                                                                                                                                                     And so the scene begins to play out with all four being surprisingly available for a hit. The course is booked.

Dazzler has to travel from out of town at short notice. Paul is actually on time and Mr T always never far behind. The effort shows the true meaning of the catch up.                                                                                                                               On the day it still comes down to the wire, if by some underlying demonic force, work issues are still attempting to stop this extraordinary event – as opposed to ordinary as what is usually the case with the quality of the golf !!

Through this, one by one we start to gather in the car park – with varying golf clubs being drawn out of car boots, some resemble something Tiger Woods would drool over and others looking like they had been passed down through generations – the comment is passed

” Well you can’t buy a golf game in a golf shop” and so the stage is set. 

Although the golf game hasn’t yet started, be assured the mind games have, mainly by the bagging/sledging of your mates’ golf clubs as an example.

However don’t be fooled, through the afternoon there will be some serious talk on world events and boardroom takeovers – we are actually worldly guys !

We stare with complete intrigue as one of the group applies his sunscreen to such an extent that he’s now resembling someone of the farer sex using one of those women’s ageing make up facial applications – only thing missing is the two cucumber rings around the eyes !! The remaining three of us are shaking our heads in true disbelief as he now starts reading the label on the directions for use and apparently he’s letting us know in a very courteous use of the English language that it’s his wife’s fault. Maybe it is was actually an ageing application for females – we’ll never know ?

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Finally all is ready, green fees are paid, beer is bought, electric carts are loaded. Onwards to the first of eighteen holes !

I won’t dwell or give a running commentary on each hole played, however If I may say that personally I thought I played some great shots and any that I fell short or the shot didn’t quite go the way I anticipated – which was very rare,  I was backed up by my partner “Dazzler” who also played some stunning shots to keep us consistent and on top of our game. What a team !!!.

Sadly this couldn’t be said for our opposition. I’m happy, delighted and feel somewhat deserving that myself and Dazzler came home with the win on the day.

If I have to make comment and I shouldn’t but I will ! – although Mr T and Paul didn’t get the cigar on the day, they no doubt tried every trick in the book.

For example, I’m sure ( confirmed by Dazzler) I witnessed Paul hit at least three tee shots in the water, but miraculously he found each ball ? Or, on the fifth, when I found myself chipping up onto the green with only the top third of the flag visible with the flag being mindfully tendered by the opposing team, only to find that they had the flag four metres to the left of the actual hole !!! And when prior to having to putt a huge distance up and through the undulating green, our adversaries after apparent consultation, agreed they where happy to remove the flag. When I politely mentioned that I had no idea where the hole was, I was met by a torrent of verbal assault based on how close I must be to getting my senior citizen discounts – a set of prescription glasses being a good start. This type of cheap verbal attack (reference bagging or sledging) increasing in regularity as their desperation started to set in.  

Can you believe, an actual attempt to introduce the “Mulligan” rule on the sixteenth was also made ( Mulligan Rule – allowed one total stuff up per hole without penalty and the shot not being counted).

Lastly, I strongly believe sportsmanship is a part of gentlemanly behaviour, after a great tee shot travelling the best part of two hundred plus metres by the opposing Mr T, with his ball landing centre of the fairway, when by total accident ( may have been another sight issue) I ran directly over the top of Mr T’s ball with our Yamaha Golf Cart and in trying to show it was a genuine mistake, I backed over it again just to check that in my disbelieve I had actually done this ?- As you can imagine, I was met by the somewhat toned down comment “that was just plain stupid“. This act just elevated the game to another level !

Anyway, in all seriousness we had a fantastic afternoon. There were plenty of laughs and all was taken in the true spirit of mate-ship with plenty of actual high fives and genuine “pats on the back”  from all four, no matter which team you were on. The “Tom Foolery” behaviour was totally expected and I would have been disappointed (and concerned) if it wasn’t part of the game. The afternoon was about keeping in touch with good people and accepting we all have busy lives and it’s not always easy to get together. It was very much a pleasure. Our group started working together fifteen years ago and in time, as so often happens, we have headed in different directions through varying circumstances, but it’s about who we are and what it means to have a laugh and not take yourself too seriously.

Thanks Gents – I can’t wait for the next game in six or twelve months !!

RD

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Ps – Below is a link to a clip by the late Robin Williams on the invention of golf – be warned the language is colourful but it’s worth a look if you haven’t seen it. – Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSXMS8ABAAU